HELLO.....
helllooooo.....
baat karo saale......(talk you idiot...)

I was not even taking breath to avoid the person other side listen my voice...I wanted him to cut the call and forget about me..But again I knew it isn't gonna happen soon.Here, this was his 16 call in this evening alone,I am not counting those in the early morning...

Abey,oh @#$$$^%.....saale..g@#$u.....battameez....(all were explicits in HINDI language,just for your information)......"  I have been hearing these as if I am playing same song on repeat mode...everycall had this and this only except that the words are arranged in different ways.But seriously call after call he was getting better and better,and  ryhthemic too..

Afterall why I am keeping silence and listening to his nasty words?I have been to north India for a long time now,infact I might be better in using explicits than him, given the fact that any non hindi guy landing at hindi speaking area learn those words first.And I excelled in studying it...but here I am feeling helpless,because he is who the referee in game...who can decide anything and I should be a disciplined player who accepts what it comes along...in this case I am not supposed to speak,how so ever motivated and provocated...

Because he is....im not gonna tell his name because seriously I dont know that....brother of my lady love.Oops I cant imagine if this is what her brother speaks like, then how her father would fare!!!!!fingers crossed...
The things went wrong yesterday when I went for hunting,oh sorry I mean outing.(another tour in search of a girlfriend).Though i have lost faith in falling love,i expect love would happen from some kind of attraction..So naturally i was attracted to an attractive girl...(whats my fault,someone explain pls.)
She fitted perfectly into my lists of requirements in a girlfriend.So i was like the Vodafone Puppy(im not gonna call it a DOG,I am being compared ,I have to ensure I get not awkward faces but sympathy and love from you readers!),kept on following her...bangle shops,dress shops,ice cream huts,crowdy roads,pizza hut(here i waited outside ofcourse) etc etc...and finally I did managed to have her attention...she was with her friends,so was me.I was with ME ,ME and ME..yes i am my best friend when i am out in search for my lady to be.Reasons being I know me better than others and the hidden fact being,I HATE A COMPETITION.Miss or hit ,I am who takes it home..noone to make fun off or spread the word around..a sensible thought,isnt.
So it was a tough job to know her mind and near immpossible to let her know I fell for her.but my constant,relentness efforts paid off..now here and there she gives a spy look at me,though there wasnt any sigh of smile on face ,the fact that she didnt shared her doubts with others made me comfortable..

After hours of girly stupid window shopping,she said bye to others.My time of make or break was it...i too took off behind her in my modest bike...Ahh...expecting something fishy the pretty girl stopped vehicle under a tree in a sparsely crowded place..now its time I too knew...I stopped near her.
"Excuse me"
Yes"she replied..i think so.
HI,I am little confused how to start.Frankly speaking I wanted to say that you are very beautiful.But i fear how would you take my words..You were busy with your friends so that i couldnt get a chance to talk with you...i wan......"
STOP...hello whats you speaking about ?See i dont have time to share with you and again i dont like strangers comment on me or my friends..we do whatever we want ,i hope noone should have an issue with that and neither i have asked anyone to wait for me...

My dreams of her being my girlfriend virtually got over by then...but i sensed there was a challenge ahead.If i prove worthy ,I knew I still can manage things around.Now cheap flattering tips found in online forums are of no use here...Shes educated enough to understand that..BUT THEN HOW?

You want to say something or may i go home now undisturbed and for Gods sake dont follow me.Its a request..
Again its stones pelting...

OH ofcourse..I am sorry ,Iam really sorry...My face and body complimented well to support my words...signs of tears appeared.(dusty roads helped,and thanks to government for not repairing the roads.)
I am speechless...never intended to hurt or disturb you...i wished...i could talk with you..know you more...im sorry..

See i understands you,but I am sorry i cant be friend with you now.so please do take care of yourself...Bye.

IMPRESSED SO MUCH WITH THE GIRL THAT I CANT WAIT BEING HER FRIEND...hey you pretty face,,you may go,but ill be there before you will be...i swore.When I swore i make sure every stone is turned to get it done..So what I did was like this,I took a road parallel to her and kept on an eye on her.Finally when she reached her home(it was a decent housing society and her home stood  one among best.) I went right into her home..i was ofcourse frightened but just to prove her that i can be the most daring for her i really havnt had any choice...It was her turn to be fightened now...it wont be nice if someone see something happening like this...
She started pleading me to get out of house...her pretty face couldnt be looking sweeter than that...but i too was feeling bad for my actions...
after a moments silence,i looked at her eyes and said." I LOVE YOU"dont know why i said so..because i didnt loved her though LIKED her...
i made her to give me her number and i gave a call on it instantly..it rung and i said i would expect your call soon...
evening passed and at night it happened...for two days we chatted and talked...often she would get angry over me and my doings...but i made up her mind...we became friends atlast...which with time would turn into love and affection ,i knew.

BUT.....IT HAPPENED IN BETWEEN.....her BROTHER checked out her mobile after being suspicious over her changed way of behavior and yes, thats why i am now facing the heat...

her number changed thereon ....again i could blame my fate only...but...WHAT THE HELL ON EARTH CAN MAKE THIS BROTHER OF HERs TO STOP CALLING ME.....!!!!!!

Ms COW Vs Mr BULL

This time I cant help laughing at this instance for the way it finished off...seriously,LOVE never happens these days,everyone is in search of a company..so just they say I LOVE YOU,updates facebook status to OPEN RELATIONSHIP ya IN A RELATIONSHIP.... and hang around...I have no issues because we are in an evolving period.

This time I will tell about my another Date.....it was many a dates to be frank...She was very beautiful and I was in utter confusion whether I must hang on or not,because I cant survive an embarrasing situation later on...but I hung on,because who knows Whats up on tarrot cards for next day!!!!!!

PREETI SINGH....cut short it to Preeti here on....she was the HOTTEST looking girl I ever shared time...and the trickiest too.

The very first day of meeting saw, she cast a spell on me and having as much as food she can(ofcourse my purse was to be used).I really felt that shes from a good family but a poverty ridden one...I could only control, my intake to control the damage.Just a cold Coke did the job for me....The bill showed Rs 300 in red colour.
Rs 300 on that count. 

Second day she came to meet me at the busiest place at agra but i skipped the date for my friends..(outing with my friends is funnier,entertaining and preffered to that with a girl....I am an ass if i forget my friends for a girl.SORRY girls,FRIENDS are my  PRIORITY)so she was dissappointed with me.To make up ,i offered her UNLIMITED COFFEE(she deserved a branded COFFIN for her acting to show the  displeasure on the instance),and PAANIPOORI.(Both are cheap and believe me Rs 100 can make you confident enough to offer such an offer twice a day,ha ha)
But she said she would like to have a SUIT.now i didnt cared those SMS much,i replied with ANYTHING UNDER SUN,sweety...not knowing the implications that was soon to happen!!

                     Third day was a nice day...we have spend time talking and walking around.NICE moments dont last much,i learnt it the hard way...IT  was the month ending week,my bank balance was like Indias Olympics Medal tally.....NIL...
     Somehow I managed some money,its all about money,honey....well said by a share broking org.
Suddenly she pushed me into a shop and said

"Raj,i would pick suit from here.("decision was already made,now whats there in asking opinion?".
I obliged.I expected her to shell out her money,but her later behavier taught me the crook intention she had....YOU ARE IN TROUBLE BOY,my brain spoke truth.
            So finally she picked not a suit but a saree...well, it costs Rs 1600...and i was compelled to have a trousers worth Rs 1500.It was then PAY time..spontaneity was always in me,ask my friends,my good friend LAL JOSE said once.This time I accepts with him,I quickly acted as if I got exausted with money and asked her to pay for the saree ,ill reimburse later...she did it half heartedly...but I confess I lost Rs 100 on that to complete bill of Rs 1600.
RS 100 added to COUNT

               Fourth day was funny....it was ditto the case in third...but saree gave way to make up items and my trousers to electronic gadgets...again there was a short fall of Rs 200.I paid that and saved myself.
Rs 200 added to COUNT


               Fifth day was an interesting day.By now I knew im just a cash milking cow for her.BUT IM A BULL.she might have realised by day end...The demand was for a pair of JEANS and RS1500 hard cash for paying SPA bills,which she insisted she would go alone for..
BULLS take no BULLSHIT...
I took her for a ride and reached to her preffered shop.She chose one ugly pair of jeans which i said SUPERB SELECTION,seeing her satisfaction...(maybe derived from the conclusion that "RAJ now you are fixed")I gave a tit for tat...I threw open a ladies top and said "TAKE THIS TOO"....
wow she was floored.
bill amount was Rs 1100..now i said i have to visit an ATM for money so get the both packed i will be back...I spend good 15 minutes on seeing other gorgeous girls visiting the market and went back to her saying my account got some trouble its not working..no money ,so no honey for now....
               Meanwhile my friend called up me and asked for Rs 500 immediatly.I said its all yours if you are here at the market within 10 minutes and say I am badly wanted at my office atonce...
Friends are angels in human form.He did his job perfectly and we were out of market....
Preeti guessed that Im playing the game now better than her.She said she would try my card herself...i readily agreed..(poor girl,I have got 5 ATM cards with no trace of money in it...take it,swipe it and wipe your tears )
|NOW WE STANDS INSIDE SBI ATM...I tried my card to show her its a blocked one...I was confident it was since I closed that account two years before...but well before doing anything ,as soon as I entered the card to specific slot,ATM prompted a question/remark..

THE ACCOUNTS ARE TO BE KYC COMPLIANT.

(it was just meant to notify the new government regulation on customer data collection..the thing named as KNOW YOUR CUSTOMER.)I had a silent laugh...i said,
"See,whats written.I told there is an issue with my account,now you believes?"

She read the same,her way as i expected she will:
THE ACCOUNTS ARE TO BE KYC COMPLAINT.



HA HA HA HA HA......i told you i cant help laughing this time...pretty girl Preeti went her home sad, not able to fool me..Afterall i am a better FRAUD if not the best.

******************************************************************************
FURTHER DATES CALLED OFF by me...My final expence books on her told RS 600..seriously the girl was a good catch but a costly one...im not that comfortable with financing such #####.


I learned a lesson worth Rs 600....
HONEY FOR MONEY TASTES BITTER....
















thanks for reading....ill be back with next,work under progress....take care.COME BACK SOON

BEING Single is COOL

So I am back,this time myself was staying at Bangalore as part of my training at Air force camp....

Now we all sounds so happy and excited of being in such reputed org.But ,Ufff....guys,a big camp full of hair cropped to scalp guys,from various strata of life and places is not much interesting,i can say.
             
                It was just another day out there with whole sort of training activities as usual....long running drills and little combat skill boosting exercises...by 3 o clock at noon ,we all were at our rooms...time for rest and food.People avoided food from MESS for the reason that there was food cooked for the sake of cooking,not for the hungry boys...naturally all bunked the campus walls to nearby city...CITY,if  a cluster of 20 shops is what we can call city....but it was a city for us in any case....Being from kerala we went to a malayali family run canteen,where fish was cheap and tastes homely...seriously first reason was the obvious one for choosing that shop since our monthly stipend was a meager 2500 Rupees back then..
             
                 On way back my friend (say colleague,but here we share a bond more than of a colleague)ABHILASH tossed up his mobile to me and said "Raj, note down that number ,that's a malayali girl and she is someone who is ready to make you her boyfriend...uh,well she is okay with anyone infact,so you too have a chance here.." we were 8 malayalis together and there was a applauding laughter from rest 6...I couldnt laugh because I was surprised why Abhilash ,who likes to manage three or four girlfriend,  do this to me,he should have called her himself for his nature and giving away a girls number is like ZUES giving his thunderbolt to someone and saying,hey dude,you use it."

             
                  Then there was a heavy discussion between all of us,I asked why you gave me this, to me particularly and he explained because its just me who didn't had any girlfriend .That was convincing reason for me,I felt proud of my friends.Rest of the guys boosted my confidence and advised how to tackle her first time and thus break the ice...


From evening 5 to night 12 ,I rung her and kept on talking....though initially she was rockhard against accepting a friendship,my occasional dump jokes which fortunately made her smile compelled her to oblige my way...so by the time we said good night,it was decided we are gonna  meet tommorrow..the very next day...
I told this to noone...but next day when I dressed in my best clothes,they got me into introgation..and I spilled the truth....(im very pathetic in keeping secrets,,umm,i knew).So as a word of advice,Praveen,another stud among us said,

"Hey just check out her mobile and see for contact lists...check out how many boys have made her to save their number..ha ha"
I called him the best possible slang in malayalam and showed my middle finger and set out.
***********************************************************************************
2 hours of bus ride and more than 1 hour in waiting for connecting bus under hot sun ,I was exhausted.But the meeting had to happen that day,it made me move forward...finally i reached the  place.BANASHANKARI or so it was,poor memory,started fading...
***********************************************************************************
            I was expecting her for last 15 minutes,she had a very ,very ,sweet voice,so I guessed even half that sweetness converted into beauty,shes gonna give tough fight for so called beauty queens of city.GUESS my EXITEMENT!!!!!!!
           I bought few DIARY MILK bars for her,valued gift if monthly salary is Rs 2500.
finally she came...she was over phone with me and was asking where i am standing at...mean while i too was looking for her,to catch a glimpse of her face before she does of mine...a slim girl in a nice dress,i found her near bus stand....she was facing to otherside so that i couldnt see her face....I said her I found her and wait there for me.I crossed the road and ran towards her,stopped behind her,and called,PRIYA......???
***********************************************************************************
              I didnt fainted, because I could not just faint but should die if she was gonna my girlfriend...it was terrible to see,I am not being rude but the way she spoke of her beauty didnt even matched her from a distance of 1000 miles..2 or 3 teeth outside her mouth taking sunbath and eyes looking at both sides simultaneously.I,say we, since she followed me,sat in the bus stand...i was speechless...somehow i gave her DAIRYMILK bars which i had crushed with my palms while controlling my emotions....the tiredness attacked me with higher magnitude,it should.
            she was speaking constantly...I couldn't actually hear because my mind was busy analysing what and where did foul happened...the whole picture went through...the way Abhilash gave number and others motivated me...it was all a planned episode,I fell for the bait and here is in an awkward situation....OMG...is this the hell???i asked God inside.
       
  suddenly she shook me up from my thoughts and said ...

"Raj i have a boyfriend ,he is in DELHI and Im sure he will marry me..(if he marry her ,im sure he is either blind or mad AND what the hell on earth brought you to me for a date in that case?,you are an impossible girl!)
I just nodded my head.....
she continued...

"Do u want to see his pic,,ill show it..here,here it is...!"KIRAN...KIRAN RAJ"..she said.
**************************************************************************************
It was ABHILASHs picture and they were like a couple...now my heart felt enlighted, afterall, Abhilash have stooped this low ,man,Im going to make him pay for this....my mind planned how to expose my friend's catch....I thanked God for, I am single and first time ever I felt .........

BEING SINGLE IS ALSO COOL.....







I RAN AWAY WITH MY LIFE,it was a dangerous date though i still remember it for the associated fun in the story.
thank you ,come back for my next story.....

So, breaking an Exile from love and romance filled life, was on cards....

It was supposed to happen someday,only thing is ,it took some time for me to recover from collapse of first love.OUCH....memories hurt..ha ha

I forgot to mention,I resides at Agra,the land of Taj MaHaL. (COOL....u may gasp....i disagree,its 48 deg celsius here and Agra is thus HOT).The place famous for a great Emperor's love for a common girl and his efforts to show her his mammoth love which ended up in the making of TAJ MAHAL. Its rarely mentioned by people that the girl was wife of another guy.

I says LOVE SUCKS...u still wont believe?the Emperor ended up his life in the confines of prison there..now you think!!!

Infact the city is full of young beautiful girls...majority zip zaps and zooms in high speed on their gearless bikes.Its hard to catch them if they turn robbers one day,I'm convinced.
so one of them is gonna say YES if i propose her,i hoped."HOPES"...its what lead us in life ,isnt?

So I made a gameplan.Proper planning and execution results in success,i remember read so somewhere.Plan was simple.Complex plans may backfire dark complexioned guy like me.
It was thus,to buy a new helmet and a few branded tees and jeans.

SURPRISED????dont be ,logic behind is again simple .The first impression is the best impression,so why should I risk my chances,by showing of my face..ha ha..Helmet fetches time atleast.

So did I.Since I had an eye catching sports bike and enough pocket money, rest of the planned part seemed easy.

I must add a little about Agra here,to make you all understand the struggles I have to see through in completing my task.

Agra is a nice place,only for you guys who visits here to see "What the hell is TaJ MaHaL....?".

Done visiting the historical place and a few snaps (adding a few common funny poses ,which are insisted by the jobless photographers wandering all around near Taj,do see)and goes back to the comforts of cozy home, back at your place.But the poor souls like me who stays here are fed up with many issues.The puzzling traffic jams...cluttered colonies...pathetic policing....horrible and terrible climate....non availability of potable water...list is too long.

So the task of getting a girl friend at Agra is as good as a story line for MISSION IMPOSSIBLE series considering all these hurdles connected with daily chores.
Even TOM CRUSE may opt out from the highly successful film franchise ,but i wont.Its me who want a girlfriend not Tom.

              It was a beautiful evening and the most posh area,Sadar Bazaar, at agra was crowded as usual.My eye balls revolved and rotated as if a Radar in full swing to catch the target...(in my case the prospect girlfriend,i predetermined whoever it is ,must have a bike,should be slim and fair..)
             And suddenly it happened . I found an eligible candidate .She was looking perfect in a pink T shirt and white cargo pants.She was parking her vehicle near Archies gift gallery and entered the shop.Wasting no time i too parked next to her bike and waited for her.Around 10 min later she came out with  some hampers.We had an eye contact,quiet normal one,but i kept on the eyes to eye looks...then again her eyes connected with mine.
          She sensed something cooking up.The sparks in my eyes told my intentions,i believe.
 And her looks certainly said ,"Why this kolaveri, boy,go home and let me go!!"

           It was tip of an Ice berg,I followed her,raced with her,overtook her at times -only to allow her do it to me...and again to repeat the same.
          5 minutes later she stopped at a sweet shop and I did same..now I prepared myself for first move..I rehearsed the dialogues i should vomit,all cut and pasted from mix of old and new films and novels.

Then she came..I quipped
"Excuse me,are you from Agra college?"
(Agra university is an institute which contains almost whole Agraites with average and below average marks in intermediate.Thankfull to prevailing education system at agra,majority is in Agra university.So this dart will hit bulls eye 80%,for sure)
   
It worked,she said "Yes, why?"
I think, I have seen you there..it was my exam centre last time.By the way,Im RAJ(rajendran is my name but oh girl,calling myself Raj is my habit..its sexy .isnt)

Ohh...thats nice".a small smile appeared on her cute lips.
"Whats your name?"
"Im madhuri"
"WOW,are you someone from Madhuri Dixits family?(my substandard joke,you and me know that it is,but believe me it works some times.this time it did.)

HA HA...nope.im not.im Madhuri Gupta.B com IInd year.

Okay..thats good..Bcom and then CA..high aims ,umm...good luck for that. Im working with Indian Air Force and is posted at Agra.I was awestruck when i saw you at Sadar and felt like talking with you and thats why im all this way behind you.Im sorry for troubling.

HA HA...(sweeter smile this time)its ok..im getting late i need to go now.

Oh sure,if you dont mind may i have your number please..?

Ummmmmmm......(looking all around the universe,AS IF HER NUMBER IS WRITTEN THERE AT MARS).....I dont know you and how can I giv you my personnel number then?
the initial,confused,"Ummmmmmm" said indirectly,she is ok with exchanging number but is little confused ofcourse.My brain started working brilliantly...
  

Yeah thats true,please dont bother,im fine.But 120 million people in India will remain strangers till the time they try to know each other,isnt?so take it easy too..anyway here is my number.(i gave a ready to use slip with my name and number on it)
call me if you feel ok..Nice meeting you..bye.
she too waved hands while I was busy showing my attitude with a bit extra acceleration, making a heavy "Vroom" noise from bike.

Two days of long wait...hopes started to fade away.suddenly there comes a SMS.

"HI Raj,U thr? Im Madhuri."

(have you guys been to cloud 9,i was there when i read it.)
my second love was kicked started.
Few days of restless chit chat and occasional meeting for coffee followed..2 weeks later,she rung up,crying..she just asked to meet her ASAP.

I made my office time cut short and raced against wind.She was in immaculate attire..she always were ...I was pleased to see her and proud of myself when other guys ogled at her and got jealous of me for having a girlfriend like her...(atleast i started to think her as girlfriend,why cant you believe?uhhh!!!disgusting.)

           All of a sudden she broke down,I was horrified(AGRA has a collection of boys and men with no job but to beat up others,all of them got a tag BHAI attached to their terrible names too...u can identify them from their pan coloured mouth and some kind of cloth around necks..) of such bhais taking over me for granted even before asking what happened ....

Fortunately BHAIs were on leave and I was safe..what I could recollect from her feeble voice is this:-
      "Raj,Maneesh is seeing another girl from his class,he says I am of not of his type,what to do.....I cant even think of someone other than him..."

        I was like a spinning top,i still doubt i really spinned OR was it whole world around me spinned...whatever I was struck with lightning,hard ,at heart....lol..

                                                              END

Backdoor story: we remained good friends thereafter.I consoled her and tried to sort things out with Maneesh too.But he was another guy without shame,he fled from her life ,probably killing her heart.Later she moved to Delhi and joined some other course there.I lost her number when i lost my mobile.So no more in touch,frankly I miss her sometimes...as a good friend.


DATING IS LIKE HUNTING.....MORE YOU GO INTO JUNGLE MORE THE CHANCES YOU GET LION---great raj.
coming with next ,be back pls...

my first love

Ya I would make it clear,i too have someone to call as my girl,oops it shall be-had someone.Many of you may wonder! infact i too wonders,so take it easy..it did happened,so..
   

             She was cute, in fact really cute and same adds salt to the wound now,hah...
she was my junior in school and that's what i too knew about her till my first two years of love life,except for her name .So it was rather a not-much-happening affair....I loved,she was scared of my love....maybe i was a furious piece of art or my antics,whenever we came face to face unexpectedly, frightened her to death.(kind of crooked eyes and Lil thick eyebrows helped!)
              

             Now the point is,she was my first love ...call her by name, Meera.(hey i can see your faces,so please don't  try it awkward ways,my reader ha ha)
            
             By the time i was about to leave my school the fear she had for me gave way to a kind of affection,which she later said was because she liked the attention i gave her always for a year and more,touched her..good that's quite normal,isn't.yes of course it is,else try it yourself. But i loved to coin it LOVE,and we both came together to conclude, it must be LOVE,that freaking thing which till date never made someone happy to core,all the while,boasts it does.

               Guys and Gals...then grueling three more years passed,it was really good to say YES I DO HAVE A GIRLFRIEND,but terrible to convince even self that YES I DO HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.Now its all over,people call it BREAK UP....good ,only because it sounds good. But is it that a strong bond, that breaks when a light breeze flow through....WOW, then i'm not surprised ,it should be break up...
   
               So few months passed as it should be ....times of Depression,Tears,Irritation and Agitation...leading life than morals,aims or Holy words..but now its been since more than a year.
Now, I'm not a saint, buddy ,to do the same for whole life..afterall Im just 23 crossed..!!

               I am worried if you are wondering "why this guy puke all these stinking stories..."then stop wondering,hereafter im gonna tell you my followed FIRST LOVES and aftereffects.I just wanted to tell that FIRST LOVE, Meera,

I DO IT,IM NOT AN IDIOT,u IDIOT.....

never mess with boys.(hey this is a warning to her only,you be easy gal)



My real passionate love was over with her....maybe i may feel it again,but not till date.

happy reading the following worthless but real DATE stories,LOVE stories and COOKED UP stories...
keep in touch...